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From clueless to coolness – adventures of college life

 

Dear Protons,

It is really hard to say goodbye. Goodbyes are the toughest part of any journey. It feels like yesterday, that I entered my college, with all the energy and desire to do something big!

I met a girl, who later became my roommate and she was the first friend I had made in the college. Living alone, in a hostel was going to be an entirely new experience for me….and for someone who never dared to do it, it was a hell! I was scared, excited, anxious, worried and most importantly I was breaking apart inside, as my father was to fly back to Hyderabad, the very next day. I was numb. I didn’t want to stay. I wanted to go back with him.

I cried, I shouted, I was not ready to stay in that hostel room, which looked like a dark well in spite of all the light. I was not happy.

But, slowly and steadily, I began unpacking my stuff. I started talking to my neighbor, we went together for dinner, met many other girls, sat on the swing and talked for several hours together. I used to call mom every single hour, and every time both of us controlled our tears just so that the other person doesn’t feel bad.

The next day was the first day of college. A whole new classroom full of energetic and pretty faces. Lecture by lecture, professors came in, we introduced ourselves. From the beginning, we used three girls, always together and always over-energetic.

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Days passed. Many exciting things happened, learnt so many things and made so many memories. I wish to share all those, as separate chapters of my life, because those memories and experiences are very precious for me and I have learnt a lot from them. I made a friend, apart from my hostel friends. And ever since then, he has been a source of constant support, love and enthusiasm. We became best friends and I thank God for such a beautiful relationship.

I then started my journey as a learner. Classrooms, competitions and seminars, whatever came my way, I participated with full grace. And guess what, my companion was my best friend Daman. That calm and introvert guy is today, the STAR of the college. And I am really happy for him!  We continued to break our own records, with each morning, came a new hope and a new challenge as well. In this process of molding, I found an amazing guide and also a friend, he was an exemplary man with a ton of experience and logic in life. He recognized the caliber in us and since then, we started a new journey, exciting but challenging. I have learnt a lot from him and he is going to be a crucial part of every chapter of my life. My professors deserve no less a place in my life.

In this journey, I found my brothers and best friends, 3 of them were with us for the longest time. I could not expect anything more from my life. They have loved me unconditionally and have been a constant source of motivation for me. A thousand memories and thousands of conversations.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………PRESENT…..

It is already 2 years and 5 months, my college, my friends, the hostel room and the entire journey as a learner was an experience worth a million words. Things changed, the friends, with whom my journey started, left and got back again. Several people entered and left from my life, giving several more beautiful memories along with some lessons! But I thank them all for their wonderful presence in my life. My big brothers are already gone for their training. Exams came to an end. Semester came to an end. And we were to part today, for our winter vacation.

And, it is unbelievable, but the college in which we entered “crying” years ago, leaving that college and that hostel seems like a disaster. I feel a vibe of terror and grief, while I locked my hostel room and left my college. That is how life turns tables. At once, our college life seems hard and terrible, and the other moment, even the thought of leaving it and millions of memories related with every corner of the college and hostel, feels so tough and disgracing.

As I walked out from the college, something was pulling me back. While I knew it wasn’t a permanent departure, but still I mixed feeling. Happiness of returning to home, with my family and restlessness of leaving my room, and my routine behind. It is very beautiful to see how we connect to the environment and our routines.

This added to my experiences. And it was magical. I realized how, in time, we grow and learn the worth of all the things and turns in life. There was a time when I couldn’t imagine living in a hostel with a roommate and today, I live in the same hostel, by myself and I am strong enough to take responsibility of myself as well as others.

Once a not so-confident girl, but I can encourage and motivate people. I can handle and manage various parts of my life and not let one part interfere with the other. Be patient and enjoy life. It will teach you everything, but only when the right time to learn comes! And praise all that Almighty gives. What seems to be a misfortune at one time, may turn out to be the best decision and the best turn of your life. Just keep calm, breathe out, smile a little more, be more kind and helpful, love everyone, sacrifice for others too, be positive and the world will be all yours!

With this small glimpse of my life, I just wanted all of us to realise that – GIVE SOME TIME, YOUR LIFE WILL BE THE BEST, MORE THAN YOU ACTUALLY DREAM. If we didn’t collect experiences and learn some things, then there is no point of calling it a life! Be lively and love everyone a little more! Express yourself enough, to show everyone some respect and love! Chase your dreams and slow down for some time for yourself. Do not lose yourself only in the professional life. Take some time out, make some memories and live life a little more. Just steal a few moments and cherish them for a lifetime!

Keep some part of yourself, a mystery (worth solving),  it is always good to have something interesting and something new,  just like a question paper of B-Tech! (I hope this sense of humor convinced you to smile!)

Till the next time,

Stay healthy, happy and kind!

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Early maturity leading to juvenile delinquency

Hey dear reader!

I welcome you to another segment of the road to happiness!

This time I came up with one of the topics which is the root cause of all the problems faced by the youth,rather all the generations!

It is often said, Be mature and learn to take mature decisions and this ain’t wrong at all!

What is maturity?

There comes a certain stage in life when you have to overcome your kiddish behaviour and grow up! This growth means that you have understood the true meaning of life and to have an action plan ready, to deal with what life throws at you,very smartly and thoughtfully! And ofcourse, accepting that life ain’t a bed of rose petals! ( I am specifically saying rose petals because a rose, as whole has both soft and fresh petals along with the thorny stem and that’s what life is!😉)

Yeah, so maturity has it’s own beauty and it is imbibed gradually. But the problem today can be very precisely related with the famous proverbs -“Excess of anything is too bad” and “There is a time for everything“.

Maturity is a gradual process but early maturity is a dangerous!

So, what do we infer? Time and limit are the important aspects of any change!

Our generation is facing a problem of “Early maturity” which is both, a phenomenon that disobeys the relevance of time and also specifies not limits.

The experimental setup is ready!

We, and our next generation are the subjects of experiment and internet as the only apparatus!!

The internet has bombarded our kids with all sorts of information to all the extents, including adult content as well. This has exposed our kids to irrelevant information that isn’t required at a certain age.

A picture worth a thousand words! Internet bombarded information!

This has caused huge changes in the dynamics of human mind, especially kids and hence they aren’t able to think and act their age. They mature before their age! They mature in a way that they lose their childhood, their innocence and joy towards life! This is the only reasons that even kids are able to make up to the ratio of happy population in the world.

This has escalated the crime rates and a higher percentage of children and youth are involved in unsavory acts like abduction ,molestation, snatching, kidnapping, substance abuse and what not!

Real instances of juvenile delinquency in our country

Our children and youth are involved in watching and creating unwanted content.

This burst of information and exposure has made our kids stubborn and felonious. This is juvenile delinquency!!

Our generation has lost the vision of Sustainable development, conscious living and amelioration of society . We need to align our body and mind to holistic approaches of growth instead of pastimes that our generation has been successful in generating! Perhaps, we aren’t going to change so quickly! That’s only possible in realization struck scenario! Otherwise, the changes have to be soaked in gradually and effectively. Else, we might face mass extinction and self extinction anytime soon!

We need to uncover the evil and re dress ourselves as positive human beings

Self love and introspection are the keys!🙂 Having a wider perspective of yourself at a personal level helps alot! When you know yourself, you automatically become aware and confident. If we take to become good individuals first, we will be eligible to become better leaders next!

And finally, we would create the best scenario for ourselves and our future generations.😉

A healthy, happy and confident human can motivate others and generate positive vibes!

The bottomline!

Be the one!

What it is like to be,an emotionally available (Jazbati) person!

Very recently I was blessed to have read a blog post from a noble soul and eventually got an opportunity to discuss one amazing term “emotional availability” with certain people in my community!

And here I am, I got another hot topic to write about and share with my readers!

Hey,dear reader!

I hope that your journey is going really well! I know..it is quite adventurous but that pinch of salt makes the whole recipe, a masterpiece!

Before I begin with the actual content of realization, let’s give into a minute of self introspection!

First, how available are we to those who actually need us versus how available are those we count on, when we need someone?

Second, what makes people say “Being always available for someone makes you lose your worth!” Are you one of those who is too a available and still feel a void inside?

Third and the last one, do we really want to be available, at all times?

And here’s a pause, just so that you can think about all these things..

Because you might undergo a prospective shift after the next few words of this write up! And just like those picture enhancing apps, which show the contrast between the before and after versions(after applying all the effects and enhansing the beauty of the original image), make you feel proud of your efforts! You might have to do the same test here, to appreciate the enhancement which will continue to make you feel proud and confident about yourself from the very moment of realization!😉

So, what is emotional availability, or emotionally available!

Well, this is a situation when a person is a source of emotional intimacy with other person,rather than being an inhibitor!

A person is called emotionally available (Jazbati, in urdu) if he/she,no matter what, is not only open about his or her feelings and emotional status but also shows up to understand the emotional status of the other person, being available to listen and help! He/she proudly accepts oneself and others and does not create any barriers, whatsoever!

This person has the following vibe within:

क्या लूटेगा जमाना खुशियो को हमारी, हम तो खुद अपनी खुशिया दुसरो पर लुटाकर जीते है||

On the contrary, an emotionally unavailable person (be-ehsaas, in urdu) is the one who creates barriers within himself and others and does all the efforts to avoid emotionally intimacy!

Sometimes, emotional unavailability is a curse to a happy relationship!

Now, this combination is beautiful within one body ( as that would actually be a balanced sitiation), but it is the most hilarious combinations when it comes to two separate humans! And this, dear reader, is also one of the major reasons for misunderstandings, disappointments, distress and gap between two individuals or maybe more than just two, a group of individuals!!

If you are the one who is unreasonably caring and concerned, the one who takes charge of being available for people ALL THE TIME, who…., regardless of utter confusion and tension within yourself, can prove to be the most supportive partner and are the one who doesn’t fear emotional intimacy with people, YOU ARE AN ANGEL! A MESSENGER OF GOD SENT ON THIS PLANET,MEANT TO SERVE MANKIND AND MEANT TO BE SPECIAL!

This kind of a person is a gem! Treasure him or her , if you find such a person around!

And if you are the one , then remember one thing!You might not be lucky enough to be treasured by many!🙂 This is confusing, I know.

Let me break it down for you!

So,you are this person who is emotionally available (inspite of maybe, let’s say, the major emotional crisis you are going through), then you are the proton who will be attracted to every electron and will neutralise the charges =>make things better, nullifying the negatives!

You have done your part and you are a winner! But, another fact says that electrons have more mobility than protons and hence your survival in this community would be tough!

I recommend you to treasure any such gem you find around, but if you are that gem , then don’t expect to be treasured by many ( that’s something impractical to promise or expect🙂!)#life_experiences

To my surprise, people classify emotionally available people in the category of either dumb or stupid humans, which is very rude!

I don’t encourage you to let others exploit you and disgrace you! But being a donor is a matter of immense pride and it is indeed, a blessing of the Mighty Creator! 😌 You have been blessed with special powers to be selfless and you have the potential to love, unconditionally and endlessly! How can you, not be called a gem!

How are not the “angel of God”, the source of goodwill and humanity!

Don’t be disheartened!😌 You might not be given back as much as you give, but you atleast you are doing your part, beautifully! At the end of every day and even at the end of this beautiful life, we won’t be answerable to anyone but God and he, the ultimate power, recognizes such a quality, as a powerful characteristic of human being!

Being an emotionally available person can be really painful, but is definitely worth!

Bottomline is, emotional availability is not about being very rational with your emotions. It ain’t about analyzing and selecting stuff with a logical 0/1 approach. It is a beautiful psychology of being deeply concerned and passionate about goodwill of all!

Though all the humans posses their own liking and intelligence about emotional availability, I am no one to decide who is a better person and who isn’t!

But, the only intention to discuss this amazing term, is to motivate the emotionally available ones to keep their good work alive! And to motivate the emotionally unavailable ones, to carefully understand the treasure those gems, who keep the spirits of humanity, alive!

And these are not just words, but the reality! Treasure the strong and nice people around you! 😉

Even after all the efforts and emotions ending put my the available ones, if there is a still a void within them, it is our failure and not theirs😌! Let’s not disrespect or exploit them..let’s support them and love them!

How is this important in human-to-human relationships?

Ammm….

Take any relationship on the planet, there’s not 50-50 criterion being followed! THIS IS A MYTH!

There is always this one person, putting in more effort than the other, keeping the relationship solid and alive! But if this one person, remains the same forever ( I mean, the same person putting efforts to make things work by being emotionally available and understanding), don’t you think that would be a lot of pressure on one soul to ensure stability and peace!

Sharing this responsibility and being the equally available (maybe at different stages of life,if not ways ) would actually cut down so much stress and pressure! Relations wl bloom and hence our lives will become beautiful and positive!

Respecting the emotional available ones is a must but trying to be cooperative with such people is also needed!😌

We can’t really change the kind of humans we are and others are,but we can definitely arrange ourselves such that we yield the maximum from our lives!

And that friend could be you, yourself!😉

Maximum happiness, maximum satisfaction and maximum liveliness 💫

Lots of love and lite!!❤💫

Begins with innocence…,ends in guilt?😐🙄

A very common problem with us, the so called pillars of new India, is unfortunately not letting go!

I hear it very often when people around me say that I want to, but I can’t.. I am not able to…

I wish I could have..I wish I had….I wish I did not…

Regret, guilt and disappointments!😓

Since our birth, our journey begins with innocence, then why does it end in guilt?

Hey, dear reader!

This is your un-met bestfriend back again, with tales of life and how we can turn, what we feel is a curse of life, to what is called, a magic!😉 Welcome to another phase of this beautiful journey!

So..

Let’s continue from how I started…

As soon as a situation or a person becomes a burden (majboori, what we call in hindi) in your life…..you literally can not live with it!

Regrets kill your vibe

Imagine, one of the most beautiful relations of your life, the most trusted person and of course the most cherished phase of your life, somehow ended!

Would ending yourself or ending other people/things/places and situations help you deal with the chaos??

Ofcourse, No!

In life..always rember one thing!

Never let things become a headache for yourself.

True relations (and good times) never end..they might transform into something more meaningful, real and beautiful! We just need that perspective to identify it and live in the moment!😊

Stronger the bond, longer the life!

We humans, we connect from souls.

What we love in somebody or something is it’s character. We don’t fall in love with a body. Beacuse bodies are temporary.. they change and degrade with time. Atleast that is how true love is described as!

We all are doing “Work”,in the language of physics! This is how work is differentiated!

Similarly, when we don’t let go of our past (in a sense,accept things and cherish them) ,forgetting that true feelings and people are ways gonna stay, maybe, not in the same form as before,but they are gonna stay, then life becomes harder and sad!

Relations might transform and so could people , but they don’t die out unless we forcefully cling to them (i.e, they don’t become a burden unless we insist them to)

Yeah…this is a fact! The more you run after something, the more it runs away from you and that race never ends!

A law of nature calls each and every process as reversible.

Another law states that energy can’t be destroyed or created either!

Now what do we think we are, Einstein or Plato?? 😄

Why do we survive in our miniature thought world, which is far off reality in terms of practicality, expecting energies that we put in, back then, to suddenly vanish and situations to convert back to normal!🤣 Now that’s quite hypothetical and so are we,humans!

What I mean to say here is, the more you runnaway from something, the more it bothers you!

Fear is temporary,regrets are permanent!

If you don’t make any effort in a certain field in your life, it is anyway gonna lose the importance and hence will not be the highlighted front!

So, making efforts to just get away with something or someone is practically useless😄 when you can actually enjoy your life by not making it an issue.

Because, people and situations transform! Nothing remains the same.

What remains the same (the love and affection for a certain thing/person/belonging) will never die out by your untiring efforts to forget it! That would exist but will never become a problem unless you are determined to make it one! 😉

Here is another pro tip!

Kindly do not regret things!

I wish, I could, I regret : BURDENS! Being optimistic is different from being regretful!

See, there are certain things in life, that common humans like you and me would regret and literally call the dumbest thing we did!

But, understand that life is just a game set up by God and we are all entertainers. Situations come, we behave in a certain way.

But once that situations transforms, we have to behave in some other way.

That doesn’t imply that your behaviour in the previous situation was wrong or to be regretted!

Strictly No!

Whatever you regret, just remind yourself that you once enjoyed being in that phase of life and you had actually put in a lot of thought to act like that! So, today it might feel/sound/look very kiddish or wrong, but it was the best choice you made,back then!

Decisions we made in the past were the best ones,back then! No regrets!

Never ever regret your decisions and your behaviour in the past!

Yes, you can always make yourself better with every passing experience! Growth isn’t inhibitory! Life must go on, with smiles and learnings,not tears and regrets!

Be, as much as you can, in harmony with yourself. Try and strike that perfect balance between your past and present and future. As we have already learnt a few blogs back, Cheish your past! It has prepared you for the present!😊

And make your present as amazing as you can ( by living in the moment)! Worry less about what’s not in your hand – THE FUTURE! But make sure you are sowing well to reep well later! 💫

And to prevent regretting , another best thing to do is to taste the words that you probably are planning to spit out..or just give a second thought to all your decisions ( just so that you are sure, what you gonna do is the best for the current situation and for your mental health) and prepare your mind to accept things and just be peaceful!🙂

The bottomline or the lesson for today is only one small but a big thing!

“Don’t let people you met, situations that you faced and certain decisions you took in the past become a burden for you or become your insecurities for the present and future!”

That way you kill the vibe of the present and ofcourse become very doubtful and awful for the future!😌

Watch the video below and you will understand this quote, much better!🙂😃

Lots of love and lite!😃

May we all learn the true sense of living and live more than years of mere survival!💫❤

Every body is beautiful! Why not make out souls beautiful?🙂

Meeting and parting are continuum……

They are a consequence of one another, related to one another,not different!

But, how amazing is the fact that this pair of words give us entirely different feeling/emotions/results.

I have learnt, in a very recent while that meeting and parting are meant to be natural and one can never actually plan it.

What can be planned is meeting here,on this platform, to know, discuss and solve the problems faced by humans these days.

Let’s come back to the reality..

Hey hey hey, dear reader!! Its been ages I wrote my heart out ! Even writers need their own time, in which they collapse and get back again..

And then a magic happens, there you get an idea to write on!😃💫 Smart,right?

I think that was enough of a blockbuster start to the blog ( actually far more dramatic than my expectations!)

Remember, expectations always hurt, but this time apparently, they didn’t!😉

Back to the topic, let me give you some facts and figures (basically the background research summary which motivated me to write about this specific topic)

According to the report by UN, the sustainable development goals of 2030 concerns has one of the top goals and concerns: YOUTH!

And where do we think we are going today??

As per the research by education and health charity, Central YMCA, which surveyed 1,600 young people aged between 16 and 25, a list of challenges faced by our youth these days are:

1. Lack of employment opportunities

2. Failure to succeed in education system

3. Issues related to body image

4. Family problems

5. Substance abuse

6. Pressures of materialism

7. Lack of affordable housing

8. Negative stereotyping

9. Pressures of 24-hour social networking

10. Crime

Out of the list, I was very surprised to know about the third issue : issues related to body image. To support this surprise there were actual people around me who suffered from this problem and I couldn’t resist but had to speak about it. This blog is just a collection of words that I believe, such people really need to know!

Body shaming and insecurities can kill your vibe

So, let me start with this simple question- What is a body??

Is it something which you own privately?? Do we have any authenticity of it? Did we create it/ design it? Do we embed like a 100 good functions in it?? Or did you, decide what problems/diseases/shortcomings it would have? Did you even get a change to decide how you wanted to look?? Were you asked if you wanted to resemble your dad, your mum?? A film star?? Or any other creature on the planet?

We literally need this level of motivation! 😂

It was gifted to you by the Almighty in hope that you would use it for a purpose (your purpose of life)

This body is just an embodiment of the soul. Understand this!

Whether it is my body or yours, our bodies are just an encapsulation over the real and precious matter – “rooh” , alternatively called “spirit” or “life”.

It is okay if you are tall or short,fat or slim, fair or dark, as long as you realise and practice the purpose of your life.

Obsession with physical world and physical body doesn’t lead us to the true purpose of life. It only deviates us, agitates and makes living, a complication!!

Carrying yourself with utmost pride and confidence makes you look great, regardless of the body type. Body language ! Work on that! That can definitely make a visible difference in your personality!🙂

Let me make one thing very very clear,

I am not against fitness regimes.

To keep our bodies fit and healthy, diet, exercise, meditation, yoga, gym and dance classes are some of the many options that people are opting for. But doing all of this with grace and not like a burden, would make a positive change in your life.

But frustration and obsession caused with changing the way you look expecting that it would bring some sort of mental peace to you,is a false perception!

All that glitters isn’t gold” This ain’t just a quote but a reality of life. Your external beauty is one, a gift of the nature and matters, just a tiny bit (even less than the quantity of pich of salt, yeah an awful comparison just to make things a little lighter😂😄) if you are beautiful inside and two, it can be enhanced only when one works on their internal beauty!

Your inner sense of humanity, love and compassion for all and working towards accomplishing the true purpose of life ( realization of true power, the Almighty and becoming a true human being), reflects on your face and how you deal with the world. If you are beautiful inside, you will be appealing outside. You need not have some specified body type or size for that!

Instead, the stress about the issues with body image and effort you are putting to impress the world in false hope of eternal.peace of mind would cause ageing, depression and inactivity. Even “Olay-fighting 7 signs of ageing” can’t help you then! And as soon as you run for “ponds rejuvenate”, that would ditch you either! 😉😂 Just kidding …!!

And for the viewers, who judge people on the basis of their body types, you need to get a life! And a perspective, which is logical!!

Be proud of yourself. Inculcate this habit of constant improvement within yourself. Recognize your flaws, work on them to make yourself a good human being first of all.

Let me repeat my argument again,

Carrying yourself with pride and confidence makes all the difference, not our color, shape or other physical attributes!

Keep smiling and shining 😄😉

Lots of love and lite❤

Always…,and no matter what!!

Dear reader,

It has been quite a while, I talked to my diary. Till a few months ago, every single day, I wrote to my diary all that I experienced, felt and wanted to say (but somehow couldn’t say).Today, it feels great when I write to you, dear reader! Thanks for being there, at all times.

Anyways, I hope you are in good spirits and healthy vibes!!

Story time…,

2 days back, a girl came up to me and said – “I feel very motivated, whenever I see you! How do you manage to be so happy! Don’t you face any disappointments?”

I pondered for a moment.. and promised to answer her soon!

Disappointment! The word revolved in my head as I walked ahead towards the hostel room!! I asked myself, what disappoints you?? Is there anything at all, that matters?

On a little research, all I heard, saw and found was “EXPECTATIONS ALWAYS HURT” or…”DON’T BLAME OTHERS FOR DISAPPOINTING YOU, BLAME YOURSELF FOR EXPECTING TOO MUCH”

Depressed because of disappointments!

Ammm….I introspected..

I wondered to myself🤔 True, that when you are with someone, you naturally have some expectation towards the person. Because relationships (whether any type- parents, siblings, friends, partners) are a duplex ( or two-sided, both involved) kind of a process. Even if one isn’t willing to be a part of it, you can’t really make it work.

But, disappointments are not natural.

I agree that expectations, when not fulfilled, give pain, which we call disappointment but these are equivalent to punishing yourself for someone else’s sins.

Love and relationships are beautiful , only if they are “unconditional” And unconditional love for something or someone doesn’t result in disappointments! 🙂Hey, I know that’s not as easy as it sounds. I am not an expert and so there have been times when I had expectations, actually very high-held expectations towards people and situations and I had no one to guide me through this “unconditional love” experience. As a result, I was hurt, shattered and very very very disappointed at times. Now that I look back, I realise that my expectations made my relations and situations much hectic and my life all the more complex.

What doesn’t break you, makes you stronger

The one thing we all need to understand in life , definitely is, things and people might not always work the way we want. They might turn out to 180 degrees phase shifted (sorry for the mathematics) , but that must not break you or make you emotionally handicapped. I never suggest anyone to abort the commitment and love that you share with someone , I never did that myself. But, hanging on isn’t a easy task as well! Ask someone who has been there, waiting with both the arms open for things to settle perfectly, but the other unrecognized aspect is – this is only healthy, if that is not DISAPPOINTING you! Toxic situations and relations are both dangerous and depressing!

You, expecting something, whether it is respect, trust, commitment or even some sympathy from someone isn’t wrong, it is natural🙂!! But, for you to be happy & healthy (basically, in blissful state, regardless of the situation) it would be better, if you did your part well enough without expecting the other person to do his!

That’s unconditional love! It doesn’t change with situations, does not depend on conditions. Doesn’t end because of people or society and ofcourse, never judges the one you love!! You do your part, leave the rest on the other person and ofcourse, the Almighty!! It is hard to achieve such a state ( complete bliss and contentment) and that is why it is rare! But , try and practice it.. it is the only way to experience true love and eternal bliss!!😇

And for those, who are on the other side of this story – “the disapponters”, if that is a word at all😂 Dear people , please understand that- Parents were the only ones obligated to love you; from the rest of the world you had to earn it…!!🙂And if you have earned it, learn to respect it!

Ingredients of true relationships

It might turn out that you regret your ignorance, when the time is gone!! Stop and introspect!! Love more and stay blessed..😀

Until the next time,

Lots of love and lite💫

Hope you experience the unconditional love with the #un_met #bestfriend😉

Life ain’t a struggle, don’t get into trouble!

So, what do you think, you achieve just by overthinking stuff in your mind, which may or may not even occur in reality !

Hats off to us, and really we need appreciation for being so daring!

We, the people who don’t invest rupees 10 for a vegetable which is rotten, are always ready to invest time, worth lacks and crores, for a rotten thought! Woah!!🙂

Hey, dear readers. This is your un-met bestfriend, back again, with yet another self exploration journey, this time on the buzz word in human psychology- “OVERTHINKING” !!

Thinking is a power, Almighty blessed us with! But, overthinking Overthinking is a curse, baby! Don’t ever take it easy!

We are humans! Wait…, we know that already!

But, why do we think of ourselves as Gods and Goddesses, when it comes to predicting future and analyzing past 😓

One thing, make it crystal clear in your brain, your past isn’t in your control, your future is , but only with positive thoughts!

The best thing you gotta do is to live your present to the fullest, without worrying about the past or the future.

Lingering around your past won’t help you in any way. What had to happen, has happened and it has changed you for the better, hopefully!

What has to happen, will definitely happen well, if you don’t mess it up with your mindblowing thoughts (btw, this is sarcasm, if you didn’t get it!)

But your present, your moment right now, is yours! It won’t give you pain, no regrets and no worries, if you learn to live in it😊

Your present will become your past , the very next moment, the moment you shift your eyeballs to take vision of the next word of this write-up……and make your future ( add to your future), as the next moment is the consequence of this very moment…!!! So basically, what’s common in here, “YOUR PRESENT”! Baffled…right!! Dont be! You must be amazed!

To make both of them beautiful , live your present with grace!😉

I mean it, from my very experiences, I realised that life is all about the present. The rest follows!😌

Have faith! If life would have been like a constant current graph( literally a horizontal line stretching from one end to the other over years), then it would have lost it’s beauty! Ups and downs are common and so are mistakes! In the hope of living a guilt-free and perfect life, we usually sacrifice our desires and happiness.

We skip on some real moments of contentment and peace! This won’t really add to anything, but the struggle. And ,those who say, life is a struggle- pls get a life!!!!!!

If all this nature created by the Supreme was a struggle, if our life (so hard to earn) was a struggle, then you haven’t been living it all through these years.

“You might have survived it!!”

Do you ever wonder , how does a child’s smile sound and look so innocent, so soothing…calms us down.. and slows our pace, makes us smile as well.

That’s beauty! That’s life! That’s happiness!

We are in a world, where we say a 1000 things, do around a 100 of them, succeed in a bunch of them but still we aren’t pleased. We are struggling to make ourselves smile. There are many wonderful humans, who realised the sense of true living and made their lives, heavenly. We read them, believe in them and just hope that things will turn out magically for us.

Life isn’t struggle, it is the effort which an artist makes before revealing his painting. The love a mother pours in, before serving the delicious food.

The heart,.an author puts on his words and his compilation.

The darkness before a beautiful shower( rain).

The time a bride takes to get ready on her wedding day, to look like a princess.

The warmth that an egg needs, to hatch into lively chicks.

The patience that a cocoon takes, to evolve into a butterfly.

Like the first cry of a baby, the first touch of his tiny little hands..

Those few seconds of silence before a speaker utters the first word and…

The conscious unconsciousness needed to understand the universe.

Did that sound or feel hard? Was that even close to struggle?

Then, how does life equal to struggle. It is as beautiful and soothing as the natural processes which we….. just felt!! Shut the windows to.the physical world for a moment, and let that feeling, sink in!!!!!

We complicate it, we make it tough, we make it horrible for ourselves because we have attached our happiness with some or the other commodity available on the planet or atleast made it a practice to keep on cursing and exploiting it, based on our past or just in hope of future.

Had we been better humans than being better robots, the meaning of life itself would have been so clear to us! We have grown into those microcontroller chips that work, based on the memory, expected output and some input conditions. Meaning, everything artificially planned and done!

Sometimes, I feel, robots are one -step ahead( advanced versions) of what we have made of us…!!

Get a life, start living in.the present!

Past and future will make way themselves and believe me, they will be beautiful!😌 Work on yourself, to make yourself a better human, a better student, a better learner of life, in lieu of being a worrier, pessimist and struggler!

This is one secret to a constant real smile. When you are thankful for what you have right now, rightly utilise it and value it, you can never lose all that matter to you!😌 Because, most of the times, we realise, repent and evaluate the importance of anything, once lost! Plus, no medical technique has been found yet, to cute your mental sickness, overthinking and pessimism! Sleeping pills also won’t help!

But if that is done in time, in the present, while having it,no guilt and no loss!

Isn’t that a fair deal??

So, the next time someone asks you, what have you thought about your futures, smile and say, “I’m in the process of making it beautiful and happy, by being lively in the present!!”

Lots of love and lite😉

Hope to meet again, same platform but with a new secret!😉

MY MOOD SWINGS= Someone lost their limbs 😉

As we are advancing in terms of technology and development in all other fields it is heart-breaking to see our declining mental health and happiness levels. Why??

Some of the very common psychological inhibitions observed these days are Mood disorders and personality disorders.

While we are trying to inculcate values and personality development in our students by slight variation in their schedules, but our generation is going through a critical crisis of obedience and commitment.

What I mean by this is ,that you can surely add a PDP session in the school or college time table, but can you insist the child to attend the session and practice the values being imparted? That is ultimately the choice of the person himself, right??

People of all age groups, especially the youth, is undergoing this really strange collapse of the mind. Everyone is just reacting, no one responding! Or even better, just playing a blame game with moods.

So, technically speaking, mood disorders and personality disorders are actually quick behavioural variations in a person from the general accepted behaviour characterised by sudden elevation and lowering of a person’s mood. The causes of mood disorders are very obvious-chronic depression, sudden emotional breakthrough and reduced self control.

That’s not important though. What is important is how to fight these and lead rather, a stress free life!

The first step towards improving psychological problems is to free your mind from all the barriers. Whether it is professional stress or personal stress, anything that keep your mind under control isn’t good at all.

By this, I don’t mean that one has to lose control over their brains..and behave ,what is technically called, mad! But, to relieve your mind from all sorts of social barriers that actually create pressure inside.

For something positive to reach you and probably effect you, one needs to first remove the boundary wall and then the negative charge that surrounds it.

Long term practices include yoga, meditation and self-introspection , which are time taking but do have a long lasting effect on a person’s body and soul.

Planning your day out, before it begins generates positive vibes, confidence and motivation. It is very well said that your morning determines your day.

As soon as you get up, just take a few minutes to yourself. Look around, thank Almighty for a new day, plan your day mentally and take those 5 precious minutes of “silence” – peaceful silence! Because, trust me, those 5 minutes are gonna charge you up for the next 15 hours!!

I don’t really believe in time tables. I believe in to-do lists, though!

One must know what has to be done in a day, because time has never been in a person’s control ever in the history of existence!🙂

You might have been 2 hours of study from 11am-1 pm, but in that time period you got to attend an urgent lecture, or maybe had to travel somewhere in urgency.😐

But, if you planned to study 2 hours in a day, they could be anywhere between your day, 6am to 11pm, after midnight , early in the morning, legit anytime! That won’t stress you, right, atleast not as much as losing the 11 to 2 time will!

So, whether it is a to-do list or time tables, just make it your guidance and not a cause of stress!

A study suggested that many cases of mood disorders is due to the time tables,which remain either in sheets, stuck on walls or in mobile phones but never actually are implemented.

I wondered, when I saw people saying, “situations change and so do the people”! Isn’t that so obvious! People , their behaviours, reactions, responses and overall personality of any person has to change with changing stimuli! What shouldn’t change is the passion!

As we grow, we undergo several situations and tests that change the way we think, we act and we behave. It could be anything! Sometimes , people are very mature in a very small age, while, on the contrary, some adults do not possess the required amount of maturity and thought, as expected from them. Situations make us but always remember, situations can’t always be blamed for all the wrong that we do! We grow and hence learn from instances in life, but we don’t have to change our very self for anything. We have talked about this in the previous blog.😊

Changing and learning is the phenomenon of brain, not the soul!

” You think differently, but don’t feel differently!! ”

To conclude, keeping your mental health good is as important as keeping physical health good. For that matter, let’s take a basic example for understanding, we are tired, irritated, low and negatively communicable in fever. Just imagine, what if it is a mental fever!! All these physical effects multiply and decay the patient internally!! Sad! Very sad!😑

Meditate, introspect and start the day with full energy and positivity!

Talk, be friendly, help others and be a cause of smiles, whether it is yours or others!

Change, but only for better. Don’t let this change at the surface level, cause change in your self!😉😃

Let beauty of the past, ever last…..

Dear Reader…Hi!!!

It is really unconventional for me writing at this moment, but the thoughts in my mind never let me rest. So, thought of sharing some sensible realisation with you. 

I hope you are doing well…and enjoying your present with full grace and satisfaction. 

We are all very ambiguous about our future, and that is natural, future is unpredictable and its nature tends to be very uncertain.  But…………., what about our past?

black ball point pen with brown spiral notebook
Past is the essence of the future. Keep a track of it.

Are we also uncertain, unhappy or scared of our past lives? Are we carrying our past experiences as a liability on us? Are we not confident enough to accept, come across and cherish our past? If your case is so, then I am assuming that your present is also incomplete and you are a mystery, yet to be solved! I will prove my assumption right, by the end of this write-up and I hope you will not love an incomplete life thereafter.

Have you ever wondered..how did you reach the position you are in, right now? Some of you might enjoying  a beautiful phase in life, some of you might be struggling hard to achieve your goals, some of you might be privileged with everything but true realisation of it and maybe… there could be a case of utter confusion and stress. There could be many mixed scenarios and hence our sample space is wide. Don’t lose your heart, because this universal set (sorry, non-medical students tend to be a little specific with the choice of words)  has to be treated with only one formula…- ACCEPTANCE!!

All that we are today is the result of our past experiences, including various situations but most importantly our reaction to the situation. Sometimes, people ask me question like..how should I forget my past? How can I move on? How can I get over my relationship? How do I deal with heartbreaks? How can I accept the score I got in the last exam? How should I align my energies towards my goals? How should I be happy?…………..and the list is never ending. I observed, what was common in these questions was.., lack of acceptance and positive analysis of things. We tend to make our past a burden for ourselves, but the reality is the exact opposite! We should have a very positive outlook towards what is gone, because it has contributed 100% in what you are today!

If you had a break-up, you learnt that true love takes a lot of courage and strength. What you missed earlier was self-control, maturity and realisation.

If you scored less in an exam, you learnt that you were , say, careless or over-confident, maybe, you underestimate yourself or you might be unaware of the writing pattern before, but you have learnt it with this small pain. 

If you failed in keeping up with a friend, you learnt that “communication” is very important to keep relations alive or may be, you learnt that a friend in need is a friend indeed and otherwise, is not healthy! 

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So, what I want to convey is, every experience that you have had in your past, has made you a better person and helped you improve on the things that you otherwise would not even realise. What you think was unreasonable and horrible, has actually given you reason to live – STRIVING FOR PERFECTION (OR IMPROVEMENT, in a sensitive tone).

man wearing blue suit jacket beside woman with gray suit jacket
The real victory in life is to accept yourself and create a success story out of your past, powered by the present.

Never be afraid to carry your past with you, why would you want to forget something that added to your experience and wisdom? Why would you want to overcome that part of your life when Almighty put you under test and you passed with flying colours. Was that the end of your life? Aren’t you living a life of your dreams today?

view of white clouds and blue sky
Pleasant mornings are a blessing

Just take a moment and think… Aren’t you happy enough right now? Aren’t you prosperous enough to be proud of yourself? Aren’t you fit enough to be active?

Observe and realise how lucky you are, the moment you open your eyes in the morning! You woke up to a beautiful day, while you thought that you would end up losing yourself after that incident of past! But, you woke up to another bomb day of your life! Isn’t that strong enough a reason, to smile. You find all your loved ones, happy and healthy around you, another push to your energy.

Then, you find yourself complete both physically and mentally, you have an ability of think (which is the greatest asset to you, if used in a positive way) another reason to be happy about. You spend one whole day accomplishing so much, learning  new things, meeting new faces, taking steps towards your goals and in some cases even achieving your short term of long term goals and understanding nature better! You walk, you dance, you run, you eat, you digest, you excrete, you do every single thing that you are meant for, and still, intaed of being grateful to the Almighty for all these blessings, we cry over our past and under-estimate it?? Your past, is the real you. Because imperfection is actually beauty and past is the matchstick that has lit fire in you.  Because, we owe to love your true self and our past is the part of us being reasonably real but apologetic. And if you couldn’t accept your past yet, how are you going to accept this present? 

Say cheers to your past and carry it with you, with pride and respect. Don’t be ashamed of it, don’t be sorry for it. It was what you felt in the earlier times was right, it was then your present and was your decision, Even this moment will become the past in the next moment, but each of these moments integrated within the limits of your birth and death are going to add to your beautiful journey and will contribute in making you “one of a kind”.

So, cherish every single moment and continue cherishing it for the rest of your life. Never let regrets ruin the essence of being yourself and being unapologetic about it. You will realise that you will be as fresh and happy as a newly born baby.

smiling baby lying on bed in room
This baby inside you, must never die. Be as fresh and as happy as him. No regrets and no offence.

If you ever encounter your past again, meet it with grace and be confident, as you are here with a experience certificate already! You will definitely handle it with more perfection. And, if you don’t encounter it again, just cherish it with all the love and happiness, and let the world know about your power of acceptance. Don’t run away, don’t harass it, don’t kill it’s vibe, just be proud of experiencing it and learning from it. 

Always remember, if it had not happened, you wouldn’t have been here right now. If your past already a victory, then celebrate it, and if it was actually a lose, then celebrate it with more grace, as you have now turned it into victory (double celebration)!! Be thankful to your rivals and all those who you think had challenged you,  ignored you, ditched you, betrayed you or harassed you! Because, their presence gave you the motivation to prove yourself! They lit the fire in you! And always love those, who supported you and constantly pushed you towards your goals. 

two person doing hand shake
Let the present “YOU” shake hands with the “PAST YOU” because they are ultimately “YOU”

What is the conclusion? 

Haha…really simple one! 

Cherish your past, be proud of it and carry it with you as your real identity! 

Love and respect all those people and situations that you have ever encountered throughout life! 

And thank the Almighty for all the precious blessings that we are endorsed with, along with that thank your past- It has made you a better person and hence has added value to  your life.

Lite: the new way to spell “Light,” now with 20% fewer letters!✨🤭

Dear friends,

We always tend to misunderstand those whom we internally love and trust the most! 🙂

Honestly, ups and downs make relationships, life and people strong, but unnecessary chaos in life wastes energy and a lot of precious time of life.

Hello everyone! I welcome you back to the Sardarni’s secrets to happiness. Though, happiness is a beautiful state of person, and it cannot be borrowed from anyone nor can it be found in material! But definitely, we can spread our happiness to make our sorroundings positive and to make others happy as well!😀😄 So, let’s just smile together once..CHEESE!!!! 😍😄😄

“Well, here’s a little bit of advice,
Be true to yourself, and always be nice.
Always stand up, for what you believe,
If there’s a fight, be smarter and leave.”

Well , dear friends, all of us might be at different positions in life today but definitely, we all face similar problems in the phase we are! I feel the biggest asset and a liability is communication these days. On one side, without communication, rather communion, we cannot be completely satisfied , our relations do not last and maybe in some cases,we develop unbelievably huge misunderstandings and eventually life becomes sad and we turn to either electrons or neutrons ( which is normally just acting) and on the other hand, if we communicate too much, we kind of tend to connect with people on another levels , which may not be healthy for both the sides of the communion! 🙂 Confusion! Right!

I understand this so we’ll, because I feel I have been through this situation and I strongly beleive that nothing can makes things better than a random but very decent conversation with the one who you feel would understand you! After all, the promises of understanding and love are all tested in these bad times only! In happy times, we never really have to understand or support the person, whom we have promised to be with! But, the times when one loses sight, trust or may be even hope, that is where a friend in need is a friend indeed proves right! And that’s where you can proudly say, that *I’ve fell in love with this person’s response towards me!*😀

Even if you slip , while walking very carefully, it shows that you were rather very focused on the way! But, not on yourself😉😊

Dear friends, if you ever have something in your mind that you feel to share with someone in your life, go and speak it! It will give you a bag full of relief.

It’s possible that the way that person handles you, makes you a proton again!😀😁 And if you know that you were never wrong, you were always true to your words, then prove it by being there for the one you love! Unconditionally!

Because true love has no boundaries and the love has no conditions! And true companionship is about both in good and bad times!😊

Apart from that, just keep smiling , just be happy and just don’t let anything fade your smile! Meet the challenges in life with a pleasant face and energy that even the challenge feels challenges in front of you!!!🥰😉

I don’t know if I can ever make this particular blog understood or not, but it is just what exactly I was feeling! Mixed , very positive but also very misunderstood!!

I hope anyone who is close to or in this similar situation, feels relived! Let’s smile and let the things in life settle down into beautiful moments😊😊 let’s live our bigger dreams and aims with smaller bits of happiness and content with everyone! Let us share our smile, our love and our true self with everyone who is ready to share theirs!😊😊

Look at these trees closely, bending towards each other like arms stretching to hug each other! 🥰🤩 Let’s be as loving as them because their beauty spreads beauty in the world and serves purpose for us!

Will see you soon dear reader!

Till then, keep smiling and keep spreading smiles! 🎁😄

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL REHAB

Excess of anything is bad. And this means, excess of anything is bad!

It could be a very casual drink with friends! But, once it becomes your addiction, it will shatter your internal system and by the time you realise something, you will be a drug addict already !
Addiction ,in general, is dependency or a weakness. It could be addiction to a habit, a routine, any food item, drugs, people, sexual desires or even shopping and spending too much. These days, addiction is becoming a serious concern. Our state of mind and self has become so weak that we rely on external sources for our contend and satisfaction. We feel, that just a shot of alcohol, or making one girlfriend after the other will do the job of getting out of pain! Can we see, how hollow and how pointless we are becoming! This is how we have degraded our sense of understanding and self-efficiency. We don’t trust ourselves enough and hence we are off to the path of addiction, just thinking that it is a permanent solution! But, my dear friends, addiction is as temporary as your problems. Nothing can replace the originality of thought and expression. Not taking about only a particular addiction, I would like you to know that there are enough alternatives to problems and leisure. We need to make our will, very strong and our faith, very deep.We, the youth, the students especially are not even on the right path, as students! Highlighting the importance of righteous living, I will take the reference of one of the five qualities of a student. And the one I am talking about is, frugal eater (Alpahari, in Sanskrit). By this shlok, the importance of being a scanty eater is highlighted. Giving in right inputs to our sense is very important to be a good student. Here, I would like to add that this particular quality, doesn’t only makes an individual, a good student, but also a good human being. Right input could be anything positive, pure and powerful. And my personal choice includes a peaceful conversation with the Almighty (spirituality is the key), either good books or web content on human values and ample family time. The more you are careful of what input you are feeding to your senses, whether it is something not worth hearing, watching, eating,inhaling or speaking, the more you tend to avoid the path of addiction.
There are numerous new things that attract young minds, they are perfect distractions.But the choice is completely ours, we need to take responsibility of our life and deal with things in better way! Let’s not kill our conscience ,not letting it warn us, making it inaudible. Because, the life of regret is harder than a life without addictions.
When I hear people believing that they can’t overcome their addiction of drugs, wrong content flooding on the internet, social media or simply money and I see them struggling hard and choosing the wrong path to calm down their craving, it makes me feel very pity. Some are addicted to constantly be with someone, and that someone can vary with time. Why? Why aren’t we patient enough! Why is there a constant need of something/someone? Why are we becoming so helpless for something that is actually ruining our time, our efficiency, energy and happiness. It is separating is from our ambitions and reality!You know why.. because we didn’t ever make any effort to understand ourselves! We understand other people, gave them all our love and patience, but didn’t leave anything for self. And , hence the relationship with self became weak in time!You, dear addict, you may forget your pains or reality for sometime, but always remember one thing – closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything! The problems were already there and congratulations, because now you have an additional problem – ADDICTION!

man with fireworks
Having a positive outlook and living a happy and a healthy life is the ultimate solution! 

So, let’s stop being so dependent. Let’s not be so helpless and let’s not try hard for anything less than true happiness and awareness! 😊
But, wait , wait….and wait… I do appreciate addiction, and only one form of addiction, the addiction of smiling, being positive and being ourselves! That will definitely change our lives for the better!😀😀😊
Self-introspection and self-awareness are also make a part of this journey.

Positive vibes,Take good care of your mental health!!